WHAT:
The idea is to tap away each and everyone of the negative feelings and/or beliefs attached to your memories. Sounds impossible? Don't worry, this process makes it possible.
WHY:
We can use our brain to “reason” that the past is gone and we can't change anything about it, that really, “this” was no big deal. Still, we are carrying our memories around, and unbeknown to us, they can feed our thinking process, even affect our health, and use up our energy. These memories might not be haunting our nights, but tapping them away could highlight interesting benefits, such as feeling a weight off your chest (Anne and her ice-cream recipe, Mary and her escalator), becoming so noticeably less aggressive that friends notice it immediately (Marguerite and her teenage boyfriend) or boosting self confidence (Ger and his school teachers), and so many more...
HOW:
It comes in 2 gigantic steps, but rest assured, you will split them into baby steps.
Step 1 : Writing THE list
Write down a list of the memories that bother you. Give each story a descriptive title, possibly the feelings it triggers if you can identify them and write down the intensity it triggers for you. It can be very old memories, from childhood (early or not), teenage... or just yesterday. Examples could be. “Carie took my doll when I was 5 – Anger 2”, “John said I was fat when I was 15” - Anger 8, Shame9, sadness 6, “I stammered when I gave the speech on John's wedding day -8”(you might not be clear about the feeling, shame, sadness, loneliness...), . I would also include “family stories” that trouble you such as “Uncle Jo committed suicide, Sadness 5”, “my parents were evicted from their first home” - anger – 3” etc...
If a memory comes up with very little intensity, still write it down. If you remember it, it might be hiding something, the way it did for Anne, Marguerite, Ger and others... As adults we can judge some events as “meaningless” while as a child it left a deep scar.
If your list is finished in 30 minutes or after half a page, try again... You could come up with 100 events or more. No event is too small if it comes to mind. Let the list rest and come back to it daily for a few minutes during the following days, adding to it what came up in between.
Step 2 : Tapping it away
Once your list is as complete as you can make it, take every item on the list and tap about it until, as Gary puts it “you either laugh about it or can't think about it anymore”. Start with the most intense ones, unless they are too intense for you to clear them on your own. In this case, contact me for help on these ones and choose another one to tap on.
WHEN:
Gary suggests to tap 1 to 3 events a day for at least 3 months. Do the math, that means 90-270 issues solved! To me the important point it to give it 10-30 minutes daily. If you have not completely cleared one issue one day, you'll get back to it the next day. You lived with it until now, what's another day? You will find that some issues will be non-issues in minutes, while others that looked easy at first actually trigger other layers. You won't know until to get to work.
WHAT TO EXPECT FROM IT?
Why are you reading this? You might be looking for a better physical well-being, including sleep, weight management, pain relief, or emotional well-being, including a more solid self-confidence, patience (with yourself as much as with others!), a lower stress level... All of this can be affected positively by your work. So go for it and let me know what you get out of it!
You will find Gary's original version of the process here.