Of course, health issues, for ourselves or our loved ones do create daily on-going stress.
What can we do about it when the situation is obviously not going to change n the foreseeable future?
Osteoarthritis, Arthritis, Cancer, Allergies, Fibromyalgia, Diabetes, Alzheimer's Disease, Autism, Lyme, Asthma, Parkinson's Disease... There is an endless catalog of diseases, and as any disease evolves in one's life, stress levels go up.
Stress at first because we suspect there's a problem, without really knowing what this is all about.
Later on, we feel stress because the dis-ease is definitely there, and we still don't know were it is taking us.
Stress also at key moments such as medical examinations, diagnosis (or worse, non-diagnosis), treatments, that are sometimes heavy going...
Whether you are sick yourself or you are a carer, this "role of the shadows", so important and sometimes ignored, stress is different. The two situations however do have one common point : when faced with a stress that can increase at any moment without warning, we can feel powerless. Is this part of your daily life?
If you are going through a disease, you might experience some of these...
Pain. Medical examinations and appointments.
Anger, Being dependent on others.
The weight of diagnosis.
Loneliness, sometimes even despite so many good willed people around you.
The unfairness of it all.
Managing disease, family, work.
The way others and society consider you...
If you are a caregiver,you might experience some of these...
Constantly switching between your role as a caregiver and your "other" daily life, work, family...
Being the powerless witness of so much suffering.
Not being able to give the hope that you don't always find in yourself.
Putting YOUR life on hold. Repeatedly feeling under threat...
Which is YOUR main stressor?
More to the point, what can you do about it?
What would your life be like if you were able to transform, reduce, or even disarm stress even before it shows up?
Whether the diagnosis is affecting life's quality or duration, or even both, the patient's and their loved ones' attitude has a demonstrated impact on the healing process and/or life's quality.
Let's find out together how we can give you the tools to act on these stressors... and brighten your daily life!
Elodie was told "You'll have to learn and live with your pains!". She wanted to see if there was another options.
Agnès was diagnosed with depression, feeling seless and wothless. She was intent on reversing the situation. The question was :"how"?
Mary was losing her own life and energy, caring for her husband who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. Surviving every days was all she could do.
Elodie : « You'll have to learn and live with your pains!?»
You can only marvel at Elodies's survival skills. Thyroid problems, degenerative osteoarthritis, allergies, algodystrophy... A full list of her health issues would fill in this page.
If her doctors resigned themselves to doing their best to help her to endure her situation, Elodie doesn't see it the same way! As many people in her situation, she has walked a long way on her own or with therapists. She has already created her very own toolbox including : diet, sophrology, acupressure, and even EFT, my favorite tool.
You might also have already worked a lot on your own issues, and you might be feeling that you're going round in circles, that there ought to be a better way to use your tools, to find new ones?
Six months after our first session, Elodie's many years of personal work have come to a whole new level. The medical bed has gone back to sender, after nearly two years of home care. She got back to using stairs, cooking, driving short distances, going out, and she's developing her new professional path. She's doing all this slowly, at her own pace, still, she's DOING IT...
By contacting me, she wanted help to lower stress and pain. Like many others, she went beyond her objectives to actually make peace with her many past traumas, including child abuse, accidents, rape, infertility... This list is very long too!
After 50 years focusing on serving everybody but herself though all this, Elodie now acknowledges that to safely be of better help to others, it's time to start with herself:
"My real desire is to create MY life, to live through what I really want to experience. At long last, I can say "I".
She's able to give even more, this time beginning with nurturing her own health, on all levels!
Agnès : looking for a life beyonf depression and burn-out
In her early forties, Agnès had just been diagnosed with depression when she contacted me, following a burn-out. She had been on sick-leave for a little over a month. As Elodie, she had decided that she wouldn't just follow her life, and she contacted me to help her to get her life back.
Her symptoms are very well known to me: Dark thoughts, nearly continuous crying, just about enough energy to fill in her role as a mother, self-confidence level below zero, guilt of being "in the care of society", "worthless", "useless" since she can't hold her role as a competent manager in a big company. And at the same time, really worried at the idea of getting back to her work-place and colleagues. The feeling that her life is over (and even that she sometimes would help it to be over a little sooner...).
If you're also feeling you are at the deep end, keep reading.
May Agnès' experience be your next step too?
Together, we undertook an exploration work, sprinkled with "aha moments", or "news scoops" as she calls them. These moments when everything suddenly becomes clear. Over a few months, she discovered, among other things, that "I never am angry" actually translates in "I never allowed myself to be angry".
That realisation is a really big step for her. She's surprised to notice that she knows how to find peace with the many conflicts that punctuate her personnel and professional past, and even with important bereavements of her life. Little by little, she not only recovers her zest for life, but on top of that, she uncovers her own multiple qualities, and new life projects. She will indeed return to a professional life, be "useful to society" again; this time however, it will be with her real identity, in accordance with her values, with joy and love!
Mary : Live besides Alzheimer's Disease day in day out
As her husband's disease became visible, Mary kept ignoring it. As time went on though, the diagnosis came. She couldn't pronounce that name. Mary contacted me to help them both to live through an impossible situation.
If you are caring for a loved one through any disease and if you feel that you don't exist anymore, that you are exhausting yourself without any hope, would it be time to seek support?
A toolbox for every situation
Each stage of the disease brings on different difficulties for the patient, and for their carer. When John was at home, the worry was constant:
What new trick will he invent now? Is the front door locked? How can I react to his violent crises?
You might think than once John was in a nursing home, Mary would be free. However, a different kind of worries showed up:
Are they really taking good care of him? I feel so guilty to let them care for him. What if I wasn't there when he needs me?
Mary took the time to face her thoughts and feelings at her own pace. As she worked through her fears and stress, one after the other, she discovered a growing inner peace, well beyond her expectations. Since she decided to take ownership of the situation, she regularly discovers in herself new resources, new personal strength.
Considering the obvious difficulty of her role as a caregiver, people around her are witnessing, sometimes in quite an unbelieving way, that "she's doing pretty well". Mary welcomes help with joy, and to her surprise, she also sees that she can help the other caregivers she meets, in return.
What about you? Would you like a lighter life and a clear path to healing?
Do you feel you are in a dead-end, as Elodie, Agnès or Mary felt?
Do you feel that nobody can understand what you are going through?
Did their stories help you to understand the stress in your life better?
Today, you are facing a new choice. Consider what your life would be like if you had a solution to lighten your fears, particularly in those moments of powerlessness. If you could free yourself from anger, relieve your sadness, imagine how such a transformation can act on your health, help your body to gather its energy in order to promote your well-being?
You might think that your stress level is beyond repair. Quite on the contrary, when you are in the heart of the issue, is the best time to get in touch with it, and with its solution too.
So my suggestion is, that we look at all of this together, but not in any odd way…
Would you like to:
- transform this feeling that you are constantly under threat, and replace it with feelings of possibilities?
- have in your hands the tools to direct your energy towards well-being instead of directing it towards disease and despair?
- recover and nurture on a daily basis hope, strength, the will to move forward?
My role is to support you in this exploration. By identifying the stress triggering emotions,you will be able to transform them, at YOUR pace, with the tools that suit YOU.
Our first (free) meeting has several objectives:
1. Understanding your overall issues, and particularly evaluating how I can help you to address them. Together, we will create an action plan, determine the estimated amount of time we might spend together, and the priorities that we will address.
2. Giving you an overview of the main tools we are going to use, so you can start working with the solutions that work for YOU.
3. Ensuring that you are feeling safe and confident with me; this is a key aspect to me, as the topics we are going to address can only be shared in a trusting and safe relationship.
Moreover, if you are not yet completely comfortable with Skype this is an opportunity for you to realise that all is well on this side too. So see you right now?
I am not a doctor, and neither me nor this website can provide medical advice. Please visit your physician or medical consultant for any medical situation