A lot of us worry about someone else. Yes, it is possible to tap for another person, or at least for our worry about this other person. We "just have to" consider that we are connected at an energy level.
Read more: Shall I say “I” or “he/she” when tapping as a surrogate?
WHAT:
The idea is to tap away each and everyone of the negative feelings and/or beliefs attached to your memories. Sounds impossible? Don't worry, this process makes it possible.
WHY:
We can use our brain to “reason” that the past is gone and we can't change anything about it, that really, “this” was no big deal. Still, we are carrying our memories around, and unbeknown to us, they can feed our thinking process, even affect our health, and use up our energy. These memories might not be haunting our nights, but tapping them away could highlight interesting benefits, such as feeling a weight off your chest (Anne and her ice-cream recipe, Mary and her escalator), becoming so noticeably less aggressive that friends notice it immediately (Marguerite and her teenage boyfriend) or boosting self confidence (Ger and his school teachers), and so many more...
HOW:
It comes in 2 gigantic steps, but rest assured, you will split them into baby steps.
Step 1 : Writing THE list
Write down a list of the memories that bother you. Give each story a descriptive title, possibly the feelings it triggers if you can identify them and write down the intensity it triggers for you. It can be very old memories, from childhood (early or not), teenage... or just yesterday. Examples could be. “Carie took my doll when I was 5 – Anger 2”, “John said I was fat when I was 15” - Anger 8, Shame9, sadness 6, “I stammered when I gave the speech on John's wedding day -8”(you might not be clear about the feeling, shame, sadness, loneliness...), . I would also include “family stories” that trouble you such as “Uncle Jo committed suicide, Sadness 5”, “my parents were evicted from their first home” - anger – 3” etc...
If a memory comes up with very little intensity, still write it down. If you remember it, it might be hiding something, the way it did for Anne, Marguerite, Ger and others... As adults we can judge some events as “meaningless” while as a child it left a deep scar.
If your list is finished in 30 minutes or after half a page, try again... You could come up with 100 events or more. No event is too small if it comes to mind. Let the list rest and come back to it daily for a few minutes during the following days, adding to it what came up in between.
Step 2 : Tapping it away
Once your list is as complete as you can make it, take every item on the list and tap about it until, as Gary puts it “you either laugh about it or can't think about it anymore”. Start with the most intense ones, unless they are too intense for you to clear them on your own. In this case, contact me for help on these ones and choose another one to tap on.
WHEN:
Gary suggests to tap 1 to 3 events a day for at least 3 months. Do the math, that means 90-270 issues solved! To me the important point it to give it 10-30 minutes daily. If you have not completely cleared one issue one day, you'll get back to it the next day. You lived with it until now, what's another day? You will find that some issues will be non-issues in minutes, while others that looked easy at first actually trigger other layers. You won't know until to get to work.
WHAT TO EXPECT FROM IT?
Why are you reading this? You might be looking for a better physical well-being, including sleep, weight management, pain relief, or emotional well-being, including a more solid self-confidence, patience (with yourself as much as with others!), a lower stress level... All of this can be affected positively by your work. So go for it and let me know what you get out of it!
You will find Gary's original version of the process here.
FIRST OF ALL, let me ask you this : if this reaction was triggered by the tapping, does that mean that tapping has an action?
Assuming you answer positively, if tapping can create one reaction, could it also create the opposite reaction?
This is a bit like a screwdriver. This is a very useful tool. However if you are trying to unscrew something by turning clockwise, my experience tells me that you will get really annoyed, and be disappointed at the result. You have to turn the right way round. Let's see how you could tap “the right way round”!
So here is my 2 steps answer.
1. Calm down this uncomfortable reaction as fast as possible
If you have created such a reaction while tapping on your own, it is very important that you focus on your breathing. Your triggered this reaction by tapping, you can reverse it by tapping. Here are a few suggestions to help you :
- Keep tapping, it is important to focus on your breathing. Breathe as calmly as possible.
- Remain on the same tapping point for the duration an inhale and exhale, then get to the next tapping point for the next inhale-exhale.
- Keep your eyes open, focus your gaze on something around you, an object, a colour that is calming you.
- Feel your feet on the floor, the seat beneath you.
- You can also stand up and open up your shoulders if this is possible for you.
- Repeat and visualise a word or a short sentence that suits you : “I am safe here and now”, love, calm, serenity... That will keep you r mind busy with a specific and constructive task, and help prevent it to go into all sorts of not-that-nice scenarii.
- Gently press on the inside of one of your wrists, using th e thumb on your other hand, or gently tap the inside of each wrists on each other. This is the point used by wristbands you can buy for car sickness.
- You can also this emergency point. Hold the place at the basis of your thumb and index, just between the two, with the thumb and index of the other hand.
Once you're feeling calm again, we can move on to step two.
2. What really happened?
It is more than likely that a word or a specific energy point got back to the surface the memory of a shock, a trauma, a memory which is particularly difficult to you.
This memory came up strongly enough to trigger a physical reaction (in this case, nausea), but not strongly enough to allow you to identify it clearly right now.
Every case is different, but this kind of reaction is usually tied to a a memory we might block because it can be too painful.
You can ask yourself a few questions, using the available clues, that is nausea, clue number 1, and the topic you were tapping about, clue number 2, in this case, it happened while tapping on neck flexibility, the ability to trun around, and maybe extend the visal spread. Here are a few suggestions :
- What did you not digest in your life? (this free tapping script could be useful here).
- When did a situation or a person make you feel nauseous?
- What is heavy on your stomach?
- What can't you swallow?
- Did you ever look away from a situation that you couldn't handle at the time?
- Is there something behind you that frightens you so much that even the idea that you could have to look at it might trigger this nausea?
This list is only a beginning. These are only generic questions. Just reading them might have brought the light on for you, and you know exactly what this is all about. Or maybe not.
We very easily hide to ourselves what really hurts, or we might just ignore it because it seems like an obvious truth to us. Louise's case is a good example. On her own, she would never have considered the possibility that she could actually feel completely relaxed.
Therefore I'd encourage you to further investigate what is hidding behind your reaction, preferably assisted by an EFT practitioner. They will know how to guide you to safely get to beyond this, without reactivating unwanted reaction.
In a nutshell, is is “normal” to feel sick when tapping? Usually not, but when it happens, there is a logical explanation. You “just” have to find it!
What if this was for you the time to let go of a weight you've been carrying around, and take off?
Please consult a physician for any medical issue.
While it might look like a very simplistic and naïve method, we have to think about it in the context of EFT. We are in dialog with our subconscious, probably reviewing a reaction that was programmes in early childhood, as a response to a number of triggers, such as the behaviour of a person towards us. At that time, our subconsicous was not able to find easy solutions that appear to us logically right now. We are just opening new doors and offering our subconscious the choice of a new program.
The possibilities are as endless as your thoughts are...
If you want to know more, the best is to read this article from Dr. Patricia Carrington, creator of the EFT Choices Method.
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A session lasts 1 hour.
When can I get a one to one EFT session?
I am available Monday to Friday from 9am to 7pm GMT.
(Convert to your time zone here)
Session times can vary but they are usually 9 pm, 10:30 pm, 12 noon, 1:30 pm, 3 pm, 4:30 pm and 6pm.
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Face to face session in Carrigaline: Click on the map to get directions from your own address.
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How can I book a session ?
Use the contact page to send me a request and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
You can also email eft AT practicallearners DOT com (no spaces, replace the AT with @ and the DOT with .)
1: Remember that EFT is NOT a "miracle cure" and I am no medical doctor. EFT is there to help people deal with their emotions and energetic unbalances, and it so happens that in many cases, people who find emotional balance also find relief at other levels, including emotional and physical, whatever the disease. But people need to be "ready for it".
2. AVOID trying to convince them at all costs:
If people don't have to "believe in EFT" for EFT to help them, they do need to be open to the possibility of getting better, one day. So if you try hard to convince a loved one, they might want to please you, and "give it a go". But they might try it without putting their heart into it, and it might "not work".
Then they'll decide that this is all stupid, and well, this is just one more proof that they cannot be helped. It's a bit like the yoyo diets. Not only it doesn't work, it makes it worse. I know, I've been caught myself, a bit on the yoyo diets, but mainly on trying to "impose wellness by EFT" to loved-ones. I had just discovered EFT, and was keen on helping the world. I understood that I might not be the best person to help when I might be too close to the issue, so in one case I sent somebody to another practitioner. But they only went to humour me. And in the end... it just "did not work". I had similar situations with a couple of people who came to humour somebody, and did not get much benefit out of it.
Having said that, there is a very fine line between imposing on someone and supporting someone. You are the only one to know how hard you can safely put the pressure on them. Julia, after all, came to humour a friend, and was not exactly open to the idea of EFT. She still found relief (read her story here). And again, back to my own story, the friend who introduced me to EFT talked to me for 3 months about it. It seemed "too good to be true, and out there", so I kept ignoring her on that topic. One day she literally forced me to try. It didn't really work that day, I have to say, but it got me curious. The rest is history....
3. Clarify expectations:
Is their healing YOUR expectation or your loved one's? In most cases, we want the best for the ones we love, so WE are expecting THEY get better. But maybe they're not ready to get better yet. What if they need to go their own route? In that case, we all do whatever we feel like doing, and very rarely what we're told. So you can tell them as many times as you want that this or that would be good for them, they need to walk their path and make their decision.
As difficult as it might be to imagine, we migth have good reasons for staying ill or keeping doing something potentially harmful to ourselves. Smoking is the easiest example : somebody might say "I do want to stop", they might even have tried (and failed, so far) several times. But when you get into their deeper feelings, you find what we call "secondary gains", the "yes, but...", when they say "I want to stop smoking, yes but..."
"....Yes but I won't have an excuse to have breaks at work", "... yes but it gives me confidence when I'm in a social situation", "...yes but I'll put on weight", "yes but that smoke screen protects me", etc..
Once yout tap these away, it is a whole new world.
More often than not, these reasons are perfectly unconscious: people might believe that this is the only way they can get attention, one of the many beliefs I had myself during the many years I spent deep in "clinical depression". I since discovered it's much more fun to feel great!
Or they might believe that their disease just proves so and so that they are wrong, or because it's a good excuse not to do what they don't want to do, without hurting others by saying no, or simply because of the fear of change. Who would they be, what would they do without this dis-ease?
Try and consider their own point of view?
4. Identify your own feelings:
When they refuse to do what you want them to, including using EFT, how do you feel? Angry? Disappointed? Anxious? Sad? Fearful for what future will bring them... and you? Powerless? Frustrated? How do you deal with these feelings? Some might say you shouldn't take their refusal personnaly. I'd say you could. Actually, do take is so personaly that you'll be dealing with your own personal reaction first. And maybe, just maybe, I'm wondering... could EFT help YOU?
There could be a few potential benefits in you using EFT to deal with this.
* first of all, of course, you might feel better, and this is priceless, for you, and all those around you, including that person.
* Communication with that person might be much easier. How can you support them when you're angry or anxious? They'll feel it, might even feel guilty / annoyed / upset about making you feel that way. All in all, they might not find much solace in your well meaning. While if you feel more at peace with yourself and their own decisions, then the dialog takes another dimension.
* Lead by example : by using EFT yourself, you're demonstrating the results in a real life situation. And they could only notice it sooner or later. Then they might remark on it, and eventually decide they'd like some of that well being. And before you know it, you've really helped them see HOPE.
So in a nutshell, you might be able to help somebody else with EFT, but not necessarily the way you might have thought. I had a friend once who got involved in drugs. I kept lecturing that friend about it. Many years later, that person told me drugs was history and that I had helped a lot, and added : "it was not what you said, it was who you were".... Leading by example without even realising it... Probably one of the most precious compliments I ever received.
I hope this has helped you. Any other question, please contact me.
It allows you to assess where you are to start with, and then assess your progress in dealing with the issue at hand.
It goes from 10, when the pain or distress is unbearable and out of control to 0, where you feel great, happy and pain-free. When dealing with children who might not be able to count, the alternative is to go from 10 - arms wide open, and progressively close to 0 - hands together in front of you.
It's actually interesting to see how a "slight pain" might be rated by some people as a 5 and others as a 2!
Further Reading :
SUDS on Wiki
More on SUDS creator Joseph Wolpe
The next step is normally another question back : "if you think this problem is for life, what are you expecting from our work together?" Incidentally, the problem could be just about anything, mild daily stress issue, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, or even more "physical" diagnosis such as chronic back, shoulder, neck, knee pains... or even more serious diseases such as cancer. Actually, if you look for "spontaneous remission" on the internet, they will nearly only talk about cancer.
Back to your question. Is your depression/anxiety/panic/pain etc.. for life? Let's say that if I thought anything was already written and that this "sentencing" (or any other) is valid, I would look for another job.
But my role is not to convince you. If it's a logical demonstration you are looking for, look for it, do your own research on the internet or elsewhere, it will be more efficient.
The role I choose is to accompany you to find out YOUR own solution The role which I chose is to accompany you to find YOUR(YOURS) solution. Because if you are here, it is because you look. Then here are some tracks(runways). Take a few minutes to answer it honestly. Cut the telephone and close the door a few moments.
Before answering every question, breathe profoundly, tap at the same time if you can / wish him(it) and especially, especially, especially (do I have to repeat it?!?!), listen to the first answer which comes to you of instinct, WITHOUT judging it, without judging YOU. There is neither good one(maid) nor bad answer, just man YOUR(YOURS) truth at this present moment, what does not mean that it is eternal.
1. What do you feel when you think " it is for life "?
Note it, calculate(code) him(it) of 0 (none felt) to 10 (felt very hardly, who can moreover be translated physically
Le rôle que j'ai choisi est de vous accompagner pour trouver VOTRE solution. Car si vous êtes ici, c'est que vous cherchez. Alors voici quelques pistes. Prenez quelques minutes pour y répondre honnêtement. Coupez le téléphone et fermez la porte quelques instants.
Avant de répondre à chaque question, respirez profondément, tapotez en même temps si vous le pouvez/souhaitez et surtout, surtout, surtout (dois-je le redire?!?!), écoutez la première réponse qui vous vient d'instinct, SANS la juger, sans VOUS juger. Il n'y a ni bonne ni mauvaise réponse, juste VOTRE vérité à cet instant présent, ce qui ne veut pas dire qu'elle est éternelle.
1. Que ressentez-vous quand vous pensez "c'est à vie"?
Notez-le, chiffrez-le de 0 (aucun ressenti) à 10 (ressenti très fort, qui peut d'ailleurs se traduire physiquement en nausée, battements de coeur etc...). Si cela est trop inconfortable, respirez profondément et tapotez en silence jusqu'à ce que le calme revienne.
2. Que ressentez-vous quand vous pensez "ce n'est pas à vie"?
Mêmes commentaires, et pour le côté physique, cela pourrait se traduire par un sourire involontaire, une sensation de calme... ou une légère (ou pas si légère) angoisse. Encore une fois, notez sans juger et mesurez.
3. Que préférez vous ressentir?
Le fait d'avoir écrit vos deux réponses précédentes peut vous aider à avancer sur les étapes suivantes.
4. Quelle vérité choisissez-vous pour vous même?
Je séparerais les réponses possibles en 3 catégories, avec une piste à suivre pour chaque:
a. "C'est à vie et je ne peux rien y faire" :
si vous êtes en train de lire, est-il possible qu'il y ait ne serait-ce que 0,001% en vous qui se dit "Et si..."? Et si ce n'était pas VRAIMENT à vie? Et si il y avait quelque part une particule infinitésimale d'espoir? Et si.... Et si.... Dans ce cas, ce sera le premier domaine à tapoter. Par contre selon mon expérience, c'est en général assez difficile à tapoter seul car très profondément enraciné. Demandez de l'aide pour commencer.
b. "Je ne sais pas si c'est à vie, mais je suis prêt(e) à considérer la possibilité d'une solution." :
dans ce cas, nous allons pouvoir commencer à travailler! Notez tous les éléments de solution qui vous apparaissent... et tous les "oui mais", tout ce qui vous dit encore "ce n'est pas possible". Pour chaque élément, identifiez et mesurez le(s) sentiment(s) associé(s) et notez éventuellement les souvenirs ou "croyances personnelles" qui remontent ("rien de marche pour moi", "je ne suis pas à la hauteur", "je ne mérite pas de guérir", "C'est de ma faute" etc..)
Vous reprendrez ces deux listes pour tapoter sur chaque élément.
c. "C'est peut être à vie dans certains cas, mais pas pour moi. Je choisis de trouver ma solution"
Là, je crois que vous avez déjà la moitié de la solution! Il ne reste plus qu'à la travailler un peu. Faites le même exercice que pour la réponse précédente, histoire de vérifier si par hasard il n'y aurait pas quelques "oui mais" cachés dans un coin. Et tapotez sur chaque élément de vos deux listes.
Dans tous les cas, si vous avez l'impression d'arriver un jour face à un mur, vous pouvez choisir de vous résigner... ou me contacter et obtenir de l'aide pour passer une étape. Bonne route!
Ceci vous a aidé(e)? Partagez votre expérience.
To answer it, let's try a little exercise : close your eyes, take a deep and slow breath, and think about an uncomfortable situation you experienced. The first one you can think of. Not a big trauma now, we don't want you to get in distress. No, just something that raises say, a 3-5 out of 10 "bad feeling" (shame, anger, sadness...) 10 being "really bad". How does that feel?
Now forget about it and CHOOSE to feel good. Can you?
Well done if you truly can. Most people can't.
Let's face it, whether we want it or not, negative feelings and experiences are there. Moreover, the one you just recalled is a conscious one. Your subconsicous holds many more of them. It built a full "database" of these, in an attempt to protecting you from getting in trouble again in similar situations.
Let's try a second exercise : close your eyes, take a deep and slow breath, and think about that same uncomfortable situation, and start tapping on each of the points while describing the story and how you feel, as if you were talking to a very trusted friend, preferably out loud. KEEP AT IT for a few minutes. Progressively start introducing what you'd rather feel about it.
When you feel ready, CHOOSE to feel OK about it. How does that feel? Usually, there some level of relief, or even full relief, If nothing happens, it might be a good idea to explore why it doesn't work.
I see 3 ways to talk about past difficult times or about negative thoughts :
1. Talk about it to try and get it off your chest, or just to share it. It can work.
I have to say, when the intensity is strong, it only brings me some relief, not freedom.
2. Talk about it to a competent professional.
It normally will help get an understanding of why you're feeling the way you do. It might allow you to let it go. Maybe that suits you, and then, you're sorted :). I am very grateful to the therapists who helped me move forward over years of depression, but I confess I only got full relief and healing after a few months of tapping. Again, that's me, and we are all different.
3. Talk and Tap, or any other form of "energy psychology". EFT is the best one I found so far.
Then you might be getting to another level, I certainly witnessed a lot of people who did.
If you car doesn't start in the morning, you can ignore it, be positive and hope for the best ("it will start, I'm sure it will!").
You could talk about it, maybe it'll help, you might get good tips from friends and fix it ("you know, it was to be expected because of this and that. But now it'll get better!").
Or you can call a mechanic. Tapping is like calling your very own mechanic. You have to explain to your mechanic what's wrong, so he/she can address it. So when tapping, you usually have to state the current situation first (negative feelings, bad memories), before you get to "reframing it" by first considering the possibilities (What if?) and only then, when you're ready, when it does come from your heart, choose what you'd rather have (I choose to let it go, feel safe, forgive etc...).
In Tessa's story, if Anne hadn't accepted to "mull over" a past event, not a nice memory but not something she was thinking about all the time either, she wouldn't have enjoyed this "weight lifted from my chest"...
Does that answer? Any comment, please let me know.
guilt and stress coming from the disease can transfer very fast in a deeper weakness of the immune system, which already is fragile. Therefore it is really important to work on it, while of course pursuing medical treatment.
First, this person is taking it the right way: “What can I tap about?”: that question is already part of the solution.
Then ask yourself what exactly is triggering your guilt? Write down a list of every trigger. Was your MS diagnosed before you got pregnant with your daughter? If it is the case, you could tap on :
Even though I feel guilty/ selfish / irresponsible because I gave birth to my daughter, despite knowing about MS, I have plenty of motherly love...
To help reframing, it might be useful to remember that it is not proven at all that MS would be genetically transmitted. Tap on every aspect or every feeling separately. Write down a few notes to keep track of the feeling, rate i's intensity before you begin, and what ideas helped you get to 0. That will help you to acknowledge your progress and build on it.
Do you feel particularly guilty about her suffering? To help the re-framing, ask yourself if your guilt is bringing her (or yourself) relief from these pains?
It there a specific time when you felt particularly guilty? Maybe when the diagnosis was communicated? If that is the case, you can work on that event separately. It could be useful to get help on this, for example using Matrix Reimprinting.
Mariella's testimony during the Congrès shows it's never too late:
“I was very moved [while listening to your conference], I tapped on and on and couldn't calm down. I felt such pressure in my chest, and found it difficult to breathe at the end of the conference. I followed your indications, kept tapping, then I burst in tears, I cried, it didn't last but it was very intense, and I immediately felt relief. It was very liberating for me.
I was focusing on the time I was told my new-born's heart was damaged, 20 years ago. It really was the biggest shock in my life. [...] I needed something intense to recover my confidence. Done deal. With your help, I made it!" (Thank you Mariella for this courageous testimony!)
Then, MS has one good side (everything has, if you look close enough!). Physical symptoms are usually very clear and measurable. Observe your body's reaction when you feel particularly guilty, and tap on this physical reaction in relation to guilt.
Last but not least, be patient and persistent. Tap a few minutes every day on this guilt specifically, and keep track of your progress. It might take a few weeks, or a few days, even maybe a few hours...
You will only find out by getting on with it, staying focused on your objective.
Click here for a free tapping script to transform Worry into Love that might help you too.
Did this help? Let me know here.
I offer e-mail follow up to my clients, within reason of course. Usually a few minutes are enough to answer and unblock a situation. This e-mail came to me in that context, and it summarises issues which happen more often than not with a lot of people. So I asked the sender, who choose "Sophia" as her pseudo, if I could publish her question, thinking that it might help YOU. If you are reading this now, I imagine that something in the title rang a bell for you?
Here are a few tips on each point.
Hi Christine, well, what I'm doing is not nice,
Nice for whom? For you or for me? You cannot presume what I think. I can choose to read or answer, or not. So I can choose if I find it nice that you're writing or not. What do YOU choose? Are you writing just because you like being "not nice" or for another reason?
For you who are reading this, and maybe don't dare asking for help when things are difficult, whether it's asking a close friend or somebody else, think about this. If you feel safe enough to ask, give the person the authorisation to choose what THEY think of it. If you felt you could trust this person, they will be able to tell you when they can't help. And if they can't, maybe you are giving them an opportunity to learn to define and communicate their own limits? Either way, if asking for help brings guilt, shame or anything else along those lines, this is something you might want to tap on.
I only write when I feel like throwing everything away (EFT rounds, tap tap),
Let the first EFT-er who never went through such a phase stand up! (well, it seems that everybody remains seated!)
This reaction is absolutely normal and happens regularly. I experienced it it, and most of my clients will recognise themselves too!
EFT can lead to wonderful minute-wonders, and we could believe this is the rule and feel impatient when it doesn't happen all the time. The thing is, minute-wonders are an exception, not a rule. Sophia is dealing with a very complex personal history. Even if she has experienced minute-wonders and will probably experience more, she has quite a long list of limiting beliefs and traumas, both old and recent, deep or light enough. It will probably require that she invests her time and energy for a few months of focused tapping, even though anything can happen with EFT, and it could also be faster than we could think. It is normal to feel discouraged at some stage.
If you feel like dropping it all, you have many choices. Here are a few examples (this list is NOT exhaustive). You can:
A - decide that it's really not worth it, and drop this solution. Maybe EFT is not for you, and maybe you'll find YOUR solution somewhere else. Or maybe not. What is your gut feeling?
B - ask yourself what you would say to a dear loved friend who would be in a similar situation: "drop it, you'll never succeed anyway." or something like "I understand it's difficult right now, you feel stuck, it's normal to feel put off. But do you remember that time when you told me how it had really helped? Maybe it's worth giving it another go, just to see what happens?" Remember this is a person you really love, a person you want to help... What would you do? What if that person you love was.. yourself?
C - choose to really get into your anger... and tap along. What if it got you through this?
D - ask yourself if this situation reminds you of another one. You could find a lead on a topic or memory to tap on, that could also solve today's issue?
What other choices can you see?
but if I stop, I'm thinking I'm useless...
Well... Would that be a judgment you have on yourself? If it is, is it really yours or does it come from another person who taught you this judgment, a person you believed? During the first 6 years of our lives, we are like sponges, we literally absorb whatever "grown-ups" do or say as if it was THE truth. In a perfectly subconscious way, we then replicate what we "learned". A parent or teacher telling you "you are useless", either in a repetitive way or at a moment when you were particularly insecure is enough for you to record this information as a "truth", one of these famous limiting beliefs. And then for you to repeat it to yourself again and again, in a perfectly subconscious way, since it has become an automatic program.
Now that you are aware of it, do you feel like carrying on with this judgment and the feeling it leaves in you, the impact on your morale? Or would you rather change that script? Change the judgement and express something else? E.g. "I have a choice"?
The more you repeat to yourself that you are useless (or ridicule, or guilty, or hopeless, or weak, or that you cannot change etc...), the more you believe it is true, and the more you find ways to prove to yourself that this IS true. Our subconscious mind loves being right and will help us to find proof that what we focus on is real. The typical example is the read cars you spot everywhere when you just bought one.
So since you will be focusing on an idea or dwell on a word, why not make it a nice one? "I feel calm and relax" for example? That's the one I use instead of "I feel nervous" in tense situations. :-) Identify a quality that makes you feel good and that you want to grow. Make it your new chorus line.
in this situation, my entourage pays for my anger.
Again this is a reaction most people experience. Some say that the best defense is a good offense. While we're busy attacking others, we're sure not to look at our own issues.
Have you ever experienced yourself or seem somebody facing an angry person or even an animal with great calm? Aggressiveness can drop very fast or not that fast. But eventually, it will. Gandhi would be the expert in that area!
What if this was not about defense? What it the real line of action was to acknowledge your suffering and give yourself love, compassion, kindness, call it whatever you like? Imagine the beloved friend again. You can feed or even deepen their low feelings in an attempt to support them "You are so right to feel low and to drop everything, nothing can help anyway" Is this really helping?
Or, you could help them to see the situation in a different light. Yet another choice...
Just a tip, if you would authorise yourself to tap "just once more", I would advise you to do just this: tap while saying how discouraged, or angry you feel, explore your wish to drop it all, focus on it and tap along. Usually, after a while, the "drop it all feeling" changes, either to direct you to a specific event that requires your attention, or to just collapse on its own. Try it?
Whatever happens, if you kept only one "should" in your vocabulary, it would probably be this one:
You should ALWAYS foster hope, however small it might seem sometimes, and be tenacious on your way towards well being. Whatever tool you are using, you deserve your happiness. Keep going, you will find it on your road, even if it doesn't look like what you originaly thought it would.
Did this help? You can comment here.
"Sophia's" answer could give you a few more ideas
Since I expressed myself to tell you that I was fed up, I'm managing with a few "taps taps" created here and there, using my feelings, with my words, my instinct.
I also feel I have a Great need to express myself, to say when a situation annoys me... Maybe it is because I kept silent for 20 years... Maybe this is the reason that led me to train in NVC (Non-Violent Communication), to allow me to say things without losing people. Know how to say, know how to express... but being able to SAY AND NO LONGER KEEP THINGS WITHIN ME... Pfew!!
Thank you Sophia for sharing
This is usually related to an event happening in childhood, but not necessarily. Using EFT, we address the issue on the person we were at that time, our "ECHO". We no longer are this person, but this person is still in us, and more specifically, we still carry what they learned at the time ("the teacher said I was not good enough, that must be true. I will never be good enough.").
It gives us a second chance to review the reaction we had at that time, and change it with the insight and wisdom we gained since the original event. While we don't change what happened at the time, we change our perception of it, and therefore, what would have been a traumatic memory can become a non-event.
In essence, the Sedona method offers us to learn from our unwanted feelings and release them.
It goes in 4 steps, assuming you've identified the feeling.
1.Welcome the feeling
Then ask yourself 3 questions :
2.Could I let "it" go?
3. Would I let "it" go?
4. When?
depending on the issue and the person, I might either guide them through the process while tapping, or use the process to trigger aspects, tap the aspects away, and start again. Is the helping, Till?
.EFT as all techniques of Energy Psychology, provides us with a holistic approach for improving our well-being. It is based on several techniques, mainly acupunture on one side, an ancient Chinese Healing method, and modern psychology on the other side.EFt can also be used together with other techniques such as NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) or Ho'oponopono.
EFT does not involve any needles, and can be performed with success on and by children from an early age.
The process (very simplified) is based on "rounds" or "series" of tapping. It begins with tapping on the side of the hand, then a number of specific points on the upper part of the body, while talking about the problem at hand. The intensity of the targeted emotion or pain is measured before and after each round, ona 0 (no intensity, all is well) to 10 (hight intensity) scale.
EFT evolved on top as a self healing technique helping as well on physical ailments where emotions don't seem to be involved at all. However, EFT is NOT a medical procedure, and you are advised to consult the appropriate medical staff for any medical issue.
You will find here a free manual to learn it on your own.
You can successfully use EFT yourself as easily as you would use a screw driver for a simple project (like putting one screw in a piece of wood). But you might face more complex situations (like building a house frame with your screw driver!). In that case, I'd suggest you contact me for professional support. I might be able to answerr your question immediately. If it is not the case, I always offer a 15-20 minutes initial free meeting so you have all the information in hand when you decide to work with me. Enjoy your discovery!
Are you being specific enough?
If you tap with "even though I don't feel good, I love and accept myself"... well, it's highly improbable that anything shall happen! We're dealing with our subconscious, and our subconscious is like a child. It needs very precise indications on what is to be done! That was actually Ger's issue at the beginning.
What is it exactly that makes you "feel bad"? Here are a few examples:
- Even though I am anxious about the meeting in 2 days....
- Even though I have this heartburn because I ate too much...
- Even though I feel guilty that I didn't do this or that...
- Even though I have a pinching pain in my right shoulder...
- Even though it made me feel sad when so and so said blah blah blah....
Are you using your own words?
When you learn EFT, you learn the usual formula "I love and accept myself". However, for at least 2/3 of my clients, when they first come to me and I ask them to say "I love and accept myself" and tell me how true it FEELS (0-not true, 10-absolutely true), they often answer something between 1 and 6-7. What is the point in trying to be positive using a sentence you don't really believe in? Julia would probably have had no results if we'd kept going with that formula. Find your own "magic formula", until you can truly love and accept yourself. It could be something like :
- I am a good mother/father/friend/sister/brother...
- I am honest and reliable.
- God/the Universe (adapt it to YOUR belief system) loves me and I am a good person.
- I am a loving and caring person.
- I am generous.
- I'm good at my job and I'm proud of myself.
- I am open to the idea that I could one day accept myself....
Is your pain hiding something?
Let's say you've worked on all the aspects of your shoulder pain (pinching, pulling pain, restricting etc..). You got some sort of results, but then, that's it, it won't bulge any further. You could assume that it's "good enough" or that "it doesn't work".
Or you could choose to find out why the pain is still there. Is there a hidden thought or feeling that might be keeping the pain going? Would that pain be covering another one? Louise's "stiffness" is a good example. Would it be worth exploring a few more avenues? Such as:
- When did it start?
- What was happening at that moment in my life?
- How did this make me feel? (anxious, helpless, worried, sad, furious, ashamed, angry, depressed, panicked, embarrassed...)
- Does this pain remind me of another time when I had a similar pain? If yes, what was happening at THAT time?
- Say it's a "nagging" pain, am I nagging myself for anything? Shoulder pain : what am I shouldering?
Are you holding any deep resentment, anger, sadness... ?
These are prime candidates as pain inducers. Look beyond the pain, and see if there's anything or anybody (including you), you need to forgive or let go? Julia's story again is one of many examples. A few tapping ideas would be :
- Even though Joe Blog really hurt me when he said xxx, maybe one day I could choose to forgive him.
- Even though my teacher said I was useless when I was 9 years old, he was probably doing the best he could, I'm tired carrying him with me, I might choose to forgive him,
- Even though I felt really hurt when xxxx happened, I forgive myself for carrying this resentment around.
Would you have a very good reason to keep this pain or feeling with you?
Sometimes, it's quite dificult to imagine ourselves without a pain, it being in the body, mind or spirit. We've lived with this pain for so long, that it's now part of ourselves, so if we get rid of the pain, we might loose a little bit of ourselves. Marguerite's arthritic pain was one of these.
Or people expect us to have a specific problem, because that's the way it is... Or so THEY believe. Mary's nervous exhaustion might help there.
We "prefer" to go on with the pain, instead of having to face a new "me" or a new life. All this is obviously completely beyond our conscious mind, and it usually goes with anger against ourselves, shame, depression and the like. A few typical examples could be : a pain in the foot/leg (prevents us to move forward, to go somewhere, in our lives or physically), back pain (lack of support...), pain in the neck (well, who in your life is a pain in he neck?!?! :-) or in the shoulders (something heavy we carry, like a responsibility or guilt...). The limit to that list is our imagination and capacity to create... It's endless. Here are a few avenues to explore:
- What/who would I be without this pain?
- If the pain went away, what could/should I do?
- If I don't feel this, what will people say? And how will it affect me?
- What is this pain preventing me from doing?
Are you being persistent enough?
"Minutes wonders", as EFT's founder Gary Craig called them, do happen, more than you'd expect. These are the times where a 2 or 3 minutes tap might relieve a person completely, sometimes from very old issues. It was like that for Natalie or for Shirley. However, more often than not, it does take persistence to get to the result. Examples are plentiful: Lynda's story could be considered a minute wonder, because nobody could have imagined such a stunning result, but it also took persistence, over about 20 minutes. Dealing with first aid type issues might also take persistence, like the fire log story there, where it did take 5-10 minutes tapping non stop. Try tapping 5-10 minutes non stop on one issue, unless you're in acute pain at that time, as I was, you might get bored of tapping, stop, and miss the possibility of wonderful healing! And what about Anne's heartburn? After all, after the first round of tapping, the intensity was only down from 4 to 3, not an impressive result, but with persistence it was a very different story... A few tips to fuel your persistence :
- What does not having an immediate result make you feel? (bored, disappointed, angry, helpless, annoyed, sceptical, stupid, uninterested, even more convinced that this doesn't work ?:-).... Tap on that feeling. .
- Trying tapping on the issues every couple of hours, a few days in a row if necessary...
- Talk to somebody you trust about your pain, they might have an insight about it you never considered....
- Tap without words, just focussing on the feeling, visualise the feeling/pain... flying away from you...
- and obviously I assume you explored all the other tips in this article!
Is your pain too deep?
Sometimes, we are just trying to bite more than we can chew. Some pains are so deeply ingrained in our personal history, and we are so used to them, that we can't really see them anymore, therefore we can't sort them out on our own. We miss the point. Isn't it always so much easier to tell a friend what they might be doing wrong, when we don't see what WE are not doing right?
That's when you need to get help. Find a practitioner you feel comfortable with (me? :-), and talk to them. They'll help you go the extra mile to either find the source of the issue and un-root it, or to address enough aspects of the issue that you don't need to get to the source anymore. Also, sharing them is part of the relief mechanism.
Any more questions or comments, please contact me.
That's where persistence is key. Something just happened, we are on the right track!
Let's say you have a pain in your shoulder. You address it with EFT, and it disappears. But now, it appears again... in your neck! Well, your body is telling you something! Listen to it, and address the "pain in the neck"! It might then move to your lower back, your head, your arm, who knows... But like when you're peeling an onion, each time you solve one pain, you're getting closer to the core!
So keep chasing that pain, wherever it might decide to show up! Check up Louise's story for a practical example.
Every single disease comes with a set of symptoms. Whether they are symptoms of the body, the mind or the spirit. Each one of them is a clue. Identify the symptoms for your disease, and even side effects form whatever medical treatment you might be following.
On a daily basis, you might choose to write a list of these symptoms, or maybe keep a diary of the symptoms you experienced during the day. That will help you to identify them faster and react more swiftly when they appear, so you can start tapping them away immediately, reducing pain and any fear or anxiety attached to symptoms and side effects.
Whether you choose to write them down or not, the number one EFT golden rule applies : TAP! Preferably as soon as you identify the first signs. Even if you don't say anything, just focus on the symptom.
Another tip, while you are tapping, is to visualise your symptom... and its solution!. E.g. if your chemo creates stomach burns for you, imagine a fire in your stomach, and (still tapping), imagine you pour water over it. If your muscles feel like there's a knot, imagine you can SEE the knot and see yourself untie it, as if it was a piece of string. It might seem a bit too simple, but just try it. What do you have to loose?
You can also focus on emotional reactions. For example, if you are unable to move, tap on the frustration or anger that you need help to do anything.
When symptoms are quiet enough, you can also consider your disease from a little afar, and focus on the future are you see it. Ask yourself a few key questions. Do you think you are going to heal? Henry ford said that “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” And this applies to your healing.
If you think you can heal, tap on the path to healing;
Even though I know I will heal, the road ahead is so long, I don't know how I am going to do this, I choose to keep my focus on my healing.
If you think you cannot heal, tap to open new possibilities, such as :
Even though you can't heal form this disease, and I am a lost case, I'd like to be open to the possibility that I don't know everything. Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe even doctors don't know it all? What is I could unexpectedly heal?
You can also work on what the disease means to you, what it prevents you from doing, (and maybe what you can avoid now without having to make excuses?), the impact on your loved ones, all the feelings it triggers for you. And get some help. You might know how to change a bulb, but when there'a short circuit somewhere in the house, you'll call in the electrician. Same here. Anybody can tap “small things” away, but when it becomes too big, professional help is invaluable.
Did this help? Let me know here.
There are many ways to go about it. First, the earlier the better. The more used you are to daily tapping, the faster you'll think of it, the stronger the effect.
Physical symptoms.
You can tap on the instant of the sting:
Even though I could feel the sting, but it was too late, I deeply love and accept myself.
Even though it was soooo painful, and I'll have this for a few days...
But I'd suggest to tap on what you feel right now
Even though I have the scratchy sensation on my arm, ...
The feelings about the moment of the sting... and the future
What was happening at the very minute of the sting or bite? Were you already in a “bad mood”? Why? You might have seen the insect, tried to chase it away, unsuccessfully apparently! That could make you slightly angry at the culprit (or at yourself?):
Even though I could see it coming, this thing was after me, I know it was targeting me...
Even though I'm furious, it doesn't really make it any easier at all, what if I let the anger go? I wonder if the sting would be easier to cope with?
You might have taken some kind of inconsiderate risk.
Even though I was so stupid to walk there, no wonder it stung me....
You might have been taken completely by surprise:
Even though I didn't see it coming, and I should have...
The more annoyed you get, the more difficulty your system will have to cope with it. It might be a good idea to consider the point of view of... the insect! And put in a little forgiveness for it, for you?
Even though it's unfair I got stung, this insect reacted according to its nature.....
Also, tap away your anxieties about the coming days. In most cases, your body will need a few days to eliminate the venom, but until then, it WILL be painful (or will it? ;0)
Even though I”ll have to walk around with an arm like Popeye....
Even though I will have to restrain from scratching my leg....
The possibilities are endless. Most of all, be persistent about it.
I had various results about this for myself, including times when it didn't really “work”, I think just because I got fed up with tapping, and decided I'd live with it. Yes, even I rebel against tapping some times when the resultas are not fast enough! But it can be worth spending 15 minutes to save 3-4 days of itching?
On the other hand a visiting friend stepped on a wasps nest in the woods and got 9 stings as a result. He chose to tap, as well as using cream on the stings. We tapped for about an hour. Considering that he had an history of allergy for 2 bites as a child, and that he was on anti-histamines, the result was quite impressive. He found that it removed all his fear of the possible reactions. It was itchy for a couple of days, but he could tap it away if it was too annoying, and the swelling was minimal. Interestingly enough he mentioned that the 2 bites on his arm, the most visible, which he was watching closely as we were tapping, healed faster and were even less swollen than the others. All of them disappeared faster than for a (non tapping) neighbour who had been stung a day before him and felt the pain for many days after him.
So see where your tapping takes you.
Please remember to ALWAYS consult the appropriate specialist for ANY medical condition. While tapping has been shown to help with this, remember EFT is NOT a medical procedure. But pending the medical treatment, or in support of it, you can certainly tap!
Clic here for a free tapping script that might help you.
The mere fact that two people have the exact opposite reaction to EFT just highlights two points: 1. EFT does "something", and 2. like everything else in life, each of us responds to it in our very own way, depending, amongst many other aspects, on our personal history, our beliefs about life and ourselves. EFT has NO POWER in itself. EFT, like any other tool, has the power we are allowing it to have, consciously or unconsciously.
Then we might wonder why Jean-Paul experienced that reaction. Jean-Paul's visible issue was to let go of that deeply rooted anxiety. He wished for it, and got that wish. However, unknown to him, this anxiety might have been there to cover up for something deeper, something too big to face it. If this happens to you, please do as Jean-Paul did: ask! As it happens, despite "getting nowhere" on his own, when we started tapping together he immediately noticed an emotional reaction.
Jean paul is not the only one to experience this. As I'm writing, he has a lot of tapping to do, on his own and with support from a trusted person when he gets stuck, but the key is that he keeps his focus on what he ultimately wants, what we all ultimately want: real happiness, whatever it means for each of us.
So in a nutshell, if you have a similar issue I'd suggest the following:
- Acknowledge that this is ONE STEP in your healing journey, not the final one. As long as you're alive, you have many other steps ahead.
- You have a choice: (A) Stop your healing journey there ("it never works for me anyway") or (B) keep going, use your reaction as a clue, and build on it. What is YOUR choice?
- If you are still reading, I assume you chose (B). So ask for support (contact me), talk to fellow EFTers if you know any... They might give you clues and trigger ideas on what you could do next.
- Ask yourself "why could I be reacting this way"? List all the issues/trauma you had in your life, even if you don't have any feelings about them at this stage. If you still remember when your mother didn't compliment you on a drawing you did aged 5, then, there's some level of emotions attached to it. Therefore, this IS important to you, even if as an adult, you find it ridiculous and unimportant. Also list all your personal limiting beliefs such as "I'm not good enough anyway", "I'm a lost cause", "some things are impossible to heal, if it was possible, people would know it", etc... These two lists will be precious to keep track of your progress and check that these traumas and limiting beliefs really have been cleared for you.
- Keep tapping, meditating, breathing, using ho'oponopono, etc... Create your own recipe. Whatever works for you is good. (Of course, I'd suggest double dose of tapping!). Use the tips-to-tap that appeal to you in the FAQ section of www.christinedisant.com.
- Get somebody to help you. If you are a driver, remember your first times at the steering wheel? Once you had the basics, you could more or less find out how to move on, but an instructor was important to make you really safe on the road, watch out for dangers around you until you were able to see them yourself. Experience has taught you much more since. Tapping is like driving: help is key to begin with, practice makes perfect, on going support helps, but in the end YOU have the steering wheel, so YOU have the solution.
Did this help? Feel free to make any comment or ask a question.
Session times can vary but they are usually 9 pm, 10:30 pm, 12 noon, 1:30 pm, 3 pm, 4:30 pm and 6pm.
How long is a session?
A session lasts 1 hour.
Where are the sessions happening?
Face to face session in Carrigaline: Click on the map to get directions from your own address. You can access my office on the car park accross the road from Supervalu. The glass door (now a black frame) to the right 4 star Pizza and Tino's and Tony's. Ring the EFT intercom.
Skype sessions: please ensure that you are in a "safe space", meaning a room where you feel comfortable and where you will not be disturbed during the call (phones off, make sure somebody is in charge of the children...).
How much does a session cost?
There are diferent options depending on the program that best suits your needs and/or purpose. Please contact me for more information on these.
Face to face sessions can be paid in cash or cheques.
Skype sessions are paid by credit card via Paypal before the session.
How can I book a session ?
Use the contact page to send me a request and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
You can also email eft AT practicallearners DOT com (no spaces, replace the AT with @ and the DOT with .)
WHY:
As EFT founder Gary Craig puts is, tapping with EFT is a bit like clearing a forest. You find many things in a forest, in all sizes and shapes.
Weeds: these are small inconveniences in our life. One example could be a child having lost a toy, but then finding it back very fast, so it was a brief enough fear. It could be a flat tire a day when you had time and all you needed to get it fixed. It was annoying, but it was easy enough to fix. No big concern. Just step on it!
Brambles and prickly shrubs: these are bigger annoyances, we might not see the roots of them, but they sure are prickly. They grow insidiously, duplicate themselves and have a tendency to take over if we don´t watch them. Let´s say Noel let a glass of water fell when he was 6 years old. Aunt Rosie commented on Noel´s clumsiness. For many children, that really wouldn't matter. It wasn't even said in a mean way. But Noel happens to be a bit over sensitive that day because his cat died. The comment is quickly forgotten by all involved, but every time Noel sees somebody who reminds him event remotely of his aunt, every time a child lets a glass spill, every time he hears a slightly derogative comment, he has this slightly uncomfortable feeling. It doesn't really matter, but it grows slowly in some form of mild anxiety. This anxiety feeds on other events that life throws at him. And one day it becomes a bigger anxiety. Again, this how Noel reacted. His pal Kurt would not have been touched at all by the comment.
Or take Marguerite´s story. She´s taller than other people. At school, other kids used this against her, and everywhere she went, she felt out of place. Her size is an hindrance to her. So much so that every cell in her body tries to get her shorter. She´s literally carrying it on , or even IN her back, and develops an arthritic pain. A very prickly shrubs indeed.
Small to large trees: They range from the single frail birch, to the solidly grounded, strong oak, or these poplars colonies where what appears to be dozens of trees, dozens of trunks, is actually one single root system, one single being (some of these colonies have been estimated to be 80,000 years old. How's that for longevity?!. More on wikipedia if you´re interested!en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/Aspen). Back to our comparison, these might range from what happened to Noel, in different circumstances when he took it so badly that he remained strongly insecure in every move he does, every word he says (check up Soairse´s case study for a similar case), to more ¨obvious¨ traumas, such as the death of a loved one, abuse, either sexual or not, a divorce, a car accident....
SO?
When we start tapping, we are literally tapping into our subconscious mind, where all of our history is stored, with its associated memories. Even when we don´t identify the source immediately, the feelings start coming up. And sometimes it can be overwhelming.
Remember though that EFT does NOT CREATE emotions, but it digs them out so you can deal with them and free yourself from them.
WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT IT?
Well, depending on your personality and preferences, there are many ways to get through this. Take EFT as a Swiss knife. You can use it in many different ways.
Technique 1 - Head first:
You might be willing to get through this as fast as possible, no matter the intensity. You pick the first strong event you can think of. Again depending on your personality, you might want to get ready for an emotional roller coaster, and then again, it might go very smoothly. Experience will tell, we're all different. Feelings might get very strong. For some people, it´s instant, and so is the relief. For others, it takes longer, and you might feel it in your day to day life for a while. Some people might even feel a kind of a physical ¨detox reaction¨, with body aches, that then evaporate. These can be tapped away of course. The difference with the side effects of medication, is that it does not leave long term damage anywhere, on the contrary, every small reaction is an opportunity to tap away a few brambles or weeds. One word of caution, if you are facing a big trauma, I would advise you to seek support when you tap, either from a trusted friend or from a trusted practitioner. Whatever you do, remember you are taking full responsibility for your own well-being.
Technique 2 - Beating around the bush, so to speak:
You don´t want to get through this roller coaster, this is scary, you can´t deal with so much. Then take a slower road. Start looking at minor hindrances and tap them away. With time, you'll build your strength and your skills on how to use EFT in your OWN way. Then one day, you will either be ready to face ¨the big one¨, or you´ll realise that the generalisation effect worked for you : you tapped so many brambles and bushes away, that the big tree in the middle had no more protection and just collapsed on its own.
Technique 3 - Building up:
Even beating around the bush might be too much for you. Then you can take an even softer route. Start rebuilding your strength and positivity. Use the Gratitude round, the positive tapping script, tap with ho´oponopono whenever something happens. Tap away minor annoyances as they show up. Physical pains are a good target as well. In time, you will feel safer and stronger enough to get to the aspens and the oaks of your forest.
And in all cases, if you feel you're not making the progress you expect on your own, get some support from a qualified practitioner.
Did this help? Any comment or question are welcome.
When can I get a one to one EFT session?
I am available Monday to Friday from 9am to 7pm GMT.
(Convert to your time zone here)
Session times can vary but they are usually 9 pm, 10:30 pm, 12 noon, 1:30 pm, 3 pm, 4:30 pm and 6pm.
Where are the sessions happening?
Face to face session in Carrigaline: Click on the map to get directions from your own address.
Skype sessions: please ensure that you are in a "safe space", meaning a room where you feel comfortable and where you will not be disturbed during the call (phones off, make sure somebody is in charge of the children...).
How much does a session cost?
There are diferent options depending on the program that best suits your needs and/or purpose. Please contact me for more information on these.
Face to face sessions can be paid in cash or cheques.
Skype sessions are paid by credit card via Paypal before the session.
How can I book a session ?
Use the contact page to send me a request and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
You can also email eft AT practicallearners DOT com (no spaces, replace the AT with @ and the DOT with .)
Quite often, the person might be doing it on their own, after only one reading of the manual or one session with a practitioner. Then they might need a little bit more assistance or guidance in order to use EFT at its best to get the results they'd be looking for. And if they are experienced EFT-ers, they'll know that sometimes we just need someone else to show us the way out, and they'll request help from a fellow EFT-er or a practitioner.
If they are working with a practitioner already, maybe the exact issue is still to be uncovered? Maybe, the person is not ready to accept healing or resolution (and even that could be "tapped on"!)? Maybe it needs someone with a little bit more expertise to find out the key and unlock the problem? Persistence sometimes opens unexpected doors.
EFT has now gathered thousands of highly improbable successes, from cancer to PTSD including MS or getting people out of wheelchairs. And that's excluding all these everyday worries and bruises that you might have already solved by yourselves. Coincidences? Scientific research is on the way to support these successes with scientific evidences. Meanwhile, you can decide for yourself.
You can never be sure that all avenues have been explored. If you ask a practitioner about their success rate, they'll probably state something between 80% and 99%. Never 100%. So yes, I guess you could say it doesn't always work.
But if you don't put all the chances on your side to try it out, how will you know if it could work for you?
EFT founder Gary Carig's motto is used all over the world: "try it on everything". What do you have to loose?