WHAT:
The idea is to tap away each and everyone of the negative feelings and/or beliefs attached to your memories. Sounds impossible? Don't worry, this process makes it possible.
WHY:
We can use our brain to “reason” that the past is gone and we can't change anything about it, that really, “this” was no big deal. Still, we are carrying our memories around, and unbeknown to us, they can feed our thinking process, even affect our health, and use up our energy. These memories might not be haunting our nights, but tapping them away could highlight interesting benefits, such as feeling a weight off your chest (Anne and her ice-cream recipe, Mary and her escalator), becoming so noticeably less aggressive that friends notice it immediately (Marguerite and her teenage boyfriend) or boosting self confidence (Ger and his school teachers), and so many more...
HOW:
It comes in 2 gigantic steps, but rest assured, you will split them into baby steps.
Step 1 : Writing THE list
Write down a list of the memories that bother you. Give each story a descriptive title, possibly the feelings it triggers if you can identify them and write down the intensity it triggers for you. It can be very old memories, from childhood (early or not), teenage... or just yesterday. Examples could be. “Carie took my doll when I was 5 – Anger 2”, “John said I was fat when I was 15” - Anger 8, Shame9, sadness 6, “I stammered when I gave the speech on John's wedding day -8”(you might not be clear about the feeling, shame, sadness, loneliness...), . I would also include “family stories” that trouble you such as “Uncle Jo committed suicide, Sadness 5”, “my parents were evicted from their first home” - anger – 3” etc...
If a memory comes up with very little intensity, still write it down. If you remember it, it might be hiding something, the way it did for Anne, Marguerite, Ger and others... As adults we can judge some events as “meaningless” while as a child it left a deep scar.
If your list is finished in 30 minutes or after half a page, try again... You could come up with 100 events or more. No event is too small if it comes to mind. Let the list rest and come back to it daily for a few minutes during the following days, adding to it what came up in between.
Step 2 : Tapping it away
Once your list is as complete as you can make it, take every item on the list and tap about it until, as Gary puts it “you either laugh about it or can't think about it anymore”. Start with the most intense ones, unless they are too intense for you to clear them on your own. In this case, contact me for help on these ones and choose another one to tap on.
WHEN:
Gary suggests to tap 1 to 3 events a day for at least 3 months. Do the math, that means 90-270 issues solved! To me the important point it to give it 10-30 minutes daily. If you have not completely cleared one issue one day, you'll get back to it the next day. You lived with it until now, what's another day? You will find that some issues will be non-issues in minutes, while others that looked easy at first actually trigger other layers. You won't know until to get to work.
WHAT TO EXPECT FROM IT?
Why are you reading this? You might be looking for a better physical well-being, including sleep, weight management, pain relief, or emotional well-being, including a more solid self-confidence, patience (with yourself as much as with others!), a lower stress level... All of this can be affected positively by your work. So go for it and let me know what you get out of it!
You will find Gary's original version of the process here.
FIRST OF ALL, let me ask you this : if this reaction was triggered by the tapping, does that mean that tapping has an action?
Assuming you answer positively, if tapping can create one reaction, could it also create the opposite reaction?
This is a bit like a screwdriver. This is a very useful tool. However if you are trying to unscrew something by turning clockwise, my experience tells me that you will get really annoyed, and be disappointed at the result. You have to turn the right way round. Let's see how you could tap “the right way round”!
So here is my 2 steps answer.
1. Calm down this uncomfortable reaction as fast as possible
If you have created such a reaction while tapping on your own, it is very important that you focus on your breathing. Your triggered this reaction by tapping, you can reverse it by tapping. Here are a few suggestions to help you :
- Keep tapping, it is important to focus on your breathing. Breathe as calmly as possible.
- Remain on the same tapping point for the duration an inhale and exhale, then get to the next tapping point for the next inhale-exhale.
- Keep your eyes open, focus your gaze on something around you, an object, a colour that is calming you.
- Feel your feet on the floor, the seat beneath you.
- You can also stand up and open up your shoulders if this is possible for you.
- Repeat and visualise a word or a short sentence that suits you : “I am safe here and now”, love, calm, serenity... That will keep you r mind busy with a specific and constructive task, and help prevent it to go into all sorts of not-that-nice scenarii.
- Gently press on the inside of one of your wrists, using th e thumb on your other hand, or gently tap the inside of each wrists on each other. This is the point used by wristbands you can buy for car sickness.
- You can also this emergency point. Hold the place at the basis of your thumb and index, just between the two, with the thumb and index of the other hand.
Once you're feeling calm again, we can move on to step two.
2. What really happened?
It is more than likely that a word or a specific energy point got back to the surface the memory of a shock, a trauma, a memory which is particularly difficult to you.
This memory came up strongly enough to trigger a physical reaction (in this case, nausea), but not strongly enough to allow you to identify it clearly right now.
Every case is different, but this kind of reaction is usually tied to a a memory we might block because it can be too painful.
You can ask yourself a few questions, using the available clues, that is nausea, clue number 1, and the topic you were tapping about, clue number 2, in this case, it happened while tapping on neck flexibility, the ability to trun around, and maybe extend the visal spread. Here are a few suggestions :
- What did you not digest in your life? (this free tapping script could be useful here).
- When did a situation or a person make you feel nauseous?
- What is heavy on your stomach?
- What can't you swallow?
- Did you ever look away from a situation that you couldn't handle at the time?
- Is there something behind you that frightens you so much that even the idea that you could have to look at it might trigger this nausea?
This list is only a beginning. These are only generic questions. Just reading them might have brought the light on for you, and you know exactly what this is all about. Or maybe not.
We very easily hide to ourselves what really hurts, or we might just ignore it because it seems like an obvious truth to us. Louise's case is a good example. On her own, she would never have considered the possibility that she could actually feel completely relaxed.
Therefore I'd encourage you to further investigate what is hidding behind your reaction, preferably assisted by an EFT practitioner. They will know how to guide you to safely get to beyond this, without reactivating unwanted reaction.
In a nutshell, is is “normal” to feel sick when tapping? Usually not, but when it happens, there is a logical explanation. You “just” have to find it!
What if this was for you the time to let go of a weight you've been carrying around, and take off?
Please consult a physician for any medical issue.
But getting back to your question, tapping for somebody else is not always that easy. Let's call this “other person” John. I'd see 2 different situations :
1. John cannot tap for himself (young child or unconscious adult).
2. John really could tap, if only he wanted to, or if someone told him about it. In this case, the person asking the question could be a parent, worrying for his child (a teenager or even an adult), or a person worrying for a spouse, or simply a close friend
So that person who's asking is usually worried, or frustrated, or annoyed (or any other feeling) about the situation, or about “John”'s behaviour. The first step is to identify this and tap it away. Your'll find another FAQ on that topic here.
This free tapping script (click here) might also help you in that situation.
Assuming that you have cleared your own feelings about the situation, you are then perfectly relaxed, and ready to help “John”, without any judgement, accepting that the result of your work doesn't depend on you but indeed on John.
First, review the situation as if you were not part of it (so not necessarily from YOUR poit of view...). What is happening in John's life? What is he consciously feeling? What could be some unconscious feelings? What symptoms and clues are you focussing on? Once you have a clear view of the situation, you have several possibilities. As usual, just choose whatever makes more sense to you.
1. Imagine you ARE John
Even though I, John, feel lost right now, I completely love and accept myself.
2. Imagine you ARE John
Even though John feels lost right now, he could completely love and accept himself.
The tricky part is to measure “your” progress. However, if you made that choice of tapping for John, you are able to either feel what John's feeling or observe his reactions. So, as you would for yourself, just trust your intuition.
Did this help? Let me know here.
While it might look like a very simplistic and naïve method, we have to think about it in the context of EFT. We are in dialog with our subconscious, probably reviewing a reaction that was programmes in early childhood, as a response to a number of triggers, such as the behaviour of a person towards us. At that time, our subconsicous was not able to find easy solutions that appear to us logically right now. We are just opening new doors and offering our subconscious the choice of a new program.
The possibilities are as endless as your thoughts are...
If you want to know more, the best is to read this article from Dr. Patricia Carrington, creator of the EFT Choices Method.
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