Let me ask you to think of a person who is triggering sadness, anger, fear in you?If you could really tell that person what you are thinking or feeling, how would you feel?
You might say that you can't really say to that person all that you think or feel. - It wouldn't change anything.... - This person is part of my past, they might even have passed away a long time ago. - This person would not understand anything anyway. - I am quite ashamed about these thoughts.
Maybe so. The "excuses" which led you to keep all this un-ease within you so far are endless.
Today, I'm offering you an opportunity to get relief from all this, risk-free. As usual, please make sure you are in a safe place and won't be disturbed during the time you choose to dedicate to this exercise. Sit down with a pen and paper, and a glass of water.
Step 1 : Set the scene Think about this person. You can tap along if you want, it cannot hurt! Just start with the top of the head and keep going at your rhythm. Sit up straight, feet on the ground, breathe deeply, and focus on this person, the impact they had on your life. Think about one or two situations involving them. Are the feelings coming up? Then you're ready for step 2. If simply thinking about this person brings your emotions up, you might not even need this step!
Step 2 – Write the letter. Write a letter to this person. Say EVERYTHING in it. Absolutely EVERYTHING you're thinking and/or feeling as you are writing. Forget for a while about positive thinking, nice words, any kind of censorship, particularly the kind we apply to ourselves. “I shouldn't say such things; this is a bad word; I'll hurt their feelings; if I really say what I feel, I'm not sure I'll be too happy about what I might say...” NO judgment. This letter is for YOUR eyes ONLY anyway, the idea is NOT to send it, only to extract from your being all these feelings that are so heavy to carry, which are polluting your body, using up your energy maybe.
GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to word out all that you never allowed yourself to say out loud or even to yourself, or maybe all that “they” never let you say. Think about drinking a sip of water from time to time. If feelings are too strong, stop and just tap while focusing on your emotions. Let them be there, and you might just find out that they calm down. If this is too difficult, contact me (or your trusted practitioner) to work on these issue. Some people write this letter in one go, in 5 minutes. Others come back to it several days in a row. Others set aside a few hours for it. Pick YOUR rhythm, it the one that is right for you.
Step 3 : Let it go You wrote the letter. Well done! How are you feeling right now? Relieved? Or on the contrary, even more sad / angry / low etc...? Write your feelings on the letter or on a post it, measure them (0-10).
It's time for a little tapping. Start directly on the top of the head. Switch points as you go, and read your letter. You might want to modify it, add something, cross something out. Follow your instinct. If you can read it out loud, it's even better.Assuming of course that you won't be heard.
The emotional charge you are feeling while reading this is a clue. You're aiming at feeling a deep peace within about the letter and the person or situation involved.
Sometimes, just writing the letter is enough to calm things down. This is particularly true if this is a person who was only involved in a recent and specific situation. I have seen this about a lawyer, a neighbour, a solicitor, a doctor, or someone you don't know very well but who left you with an unpleasant feeling on one occasion. Let me assure you though that most lawyers, neighbours, solicitors or doctors would never do that!
You might need to read it several times while tapping, before you reach peace. This could be about a person who left you with deep wounds, usually over a period of time. It might be a member of your family, parent, sibling, or a teacher, or from your adult life, an ex-spouse, or even a child.
In that case, you might need to get back to it the next day, or even during two or three days or more. Every time you pick up the letter, observe your reaction. Read it out again, tapping along, modify it as you please. If need be, take time to tap away separately on specific feelings. Be persistent... and patient with yourself?
In any case, once you reached peace, I'd suggest you leave the letter aside for a couple of says (in a safe place, remember this is for your eyes only!!). Observe if this topic still bothers you. Take the letter out a few days later. Read it out again, and observe your reaction. Keep going until there's no negative reaction attached to it.
Step 4 : Celebrate! Your objective is to be able to think about this person with no emotional charge, or even, let's be adventurous, with a smile in your heart? A deep feeling of freedom, relief, in a word... peace. This can happen the day you wrote the letter, or quite a while later, after you wrote several letters.
When you get there, you have let go of unwelcome feelings. Appreciate this moment. This is the first minute of the rest of your life, a lighter life, with at least that much less to carry. You might want to add a gratitude round, noticing all the positive side effects this exercise has given you. Or simply pat yourself on the back. Celebrate according to the relief you created for yourself. A smile might be enough before you move on, or you might choose a bigger celebration.
When you reach that moment, the letter has done its job. Destroy it with gratitude for what you learned from it that is helping you to create a better life for yourself!
Welcome into your new lightness!
Did this help? Share your experience below or feel free to contact me for any questions. Thank you.