One attack is bad enough, but what can you say when it's 6 at the same time?

 

Hundreds of people left this life, thousands are left suffering. Some only ever knew this on television. For a lot of people, however, today's suffering echoes a suffering deeply rooted in distant, or recent past. Just consider current migrations, very large populations of refugees, and the memory of the January 2015 attacks in Paris.

I work with people who have been through war, and as the various attacks were announced, several of these people had to face the remaining suffering from their own experience. On November 14th, I gave a session in such a situation, and "Denise" (not her real name) authorised me to share most of it. We are hoping that other people whose old suffering has been triggered can benefit from it. May this article help you on your path towards your peace.

~~~~ DISCLAIMER ~~~~

- To understand this article, it is mandatory to have a basic understanding of EFT. If you are new to EFT, please click here.

- You might be shocked by some of the words and concepts in this article. Its aim is to help you to clear your own suffering, this is not in any case the place to discuss politics, religion or anything other than healing. More than ever, by reading this article, to are talking full responsibility for your well-being. You are choosing to read it, without judgement.

- I'm advising you to tap while reading. It is rather long, as I thought it was necessary to show the different steps that were addressed during that session.

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Denise was born in a country that she had to flee because of war. Therefore, she reacts violently when she is forced by circumstances to be the witness of the attacks. This aim of this session is to help her to go through ordeal as peacefully as possible. She is already a client of mine, and we already addressed to a certain level an attack she was involved in in her youth.
When we're beginning the session, Denise is calm but deeply angry". Her words show how violent her feelings are, which obviously can be understood.

“I think we are at war. They should be tracked down without mercy, not even get them through justice." she says. "An eye for an eye. tooth for tooth. What is different from what terrorism used to be, is that they were planning attacks one by one, but now they have this network of people who are ready to sacrifice themselves, and they just throw them in every corner”.

It is important to let Denise express her feelings, however, it is also critical to keep in mind this session's objective. So I'm challenging her:
“This is no political discussion. The idea today is to work on what you are feeling. Let's breathe first”. Since Denise had already worked with me, I could afford to get straight to the point.

After a few deep breathing, we are beginning to tap from the top of the head down and back again and round again. Forget about a set-up statement or karate chop point here, we are right in the heart of the issue. I added below a few comments to explain why the tapping is progressing this way.

To begin with, Denise is quite irritated by the impact on her personal organisation that day. That kind of reaction is a really good recipe to avoid facing our real suffering, as you will see below. The best way with Denise in that situation is to take it lightly. "Light" can get a long way. So here we start.

I am in a hurry

this is really not a good time for attacks

I have too many things to do.

I didn't do what I had planned this morning.

This is really happening at a bad time for me.
And nobody quite knows what to do.

Another really good self-preservation strategy is to find somebody to blame. In the current situation, there is a large choice : the terrorists of course, and also the government, who is "not doing its job".

I know what's to be done

politics are not doing what needs to be done

they didn't go through the war I went through

Ask ME, I know you have to really track terrorists down.

I know what's to be done

Give me the country, and I will sort it out,

give me the country, and I will heal my own suffering

When mentioning her own suffering , the first barrier is falling down. Are we always reacting based on what we feel?

Up to then, Denise was in perfect "control" of her emotions, but in less than 3 minutes, by addressing the real issue, tears come out immediately. The memory of that attack she witnessed in her past comes right back up. We had already worked on it, not all of it obviously, we are now presented with an opportunity to peel down the onion a little further. I am focussing on keeping her in touch with her feelings as long as possible. 

all this pain

all this pain

Very fast however, Denise is getting back in control and tears stop. If your suffering is coming back up, don't try to control them, let them come up so you can tap them out of your life. Breathe and stop reading, keep tapping, while focussing on your breathing.

this little girl who was killed

and her mother I saw wandering,

looking for her child.

All this blood on my shoes

A new barrier is coming down, and the tears are coming back up. You probably have your own images coming up in your mind at this time. If it is too hard for you to keep reading, please stop, keep tapping and breathing to get back to a more calm feeling, and seek support form a trusted practitioner to help you.

Denise is now quickly putting her suffering "back in the box", and anger is coming back up, fast.

the hole in dad's hat

the piece of shrapnel in mummy's ankle

pieces of shrapnel everywhere

and this is all locked into my own cells.

What can I do with all this?

They have to be tracked down,

you can let this happen again and again

you have to deal with the root of the problem

and the best way is to go and track them down

It might be a good idea for you to pause here, and work more deeply on your own anger. As for Denise, I knew that the best way at this stage to unroot her anger and get to the next barrier is humour and lightness.

By the way, I am just going to pack and leave now

because I know what needs to be done

because I need to be doing something.

I can't just stay here and watch all that is happening

I can't be living through this suffering and know that I will be experiencing it again and again

I cant; get through this suffering again

and witness those who are living it for the first time

without doing anything,

I can't experience all this and remain indifferent.

I need to be heard

I need the culprits to be punished

I need the culprits to be killed

an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth

even if this isn't exactly in line with my religion,

this is MY suffering

this is my brothers' and sisters'

this is my whole family's

this is the suffering of all the people who had to live through this

this is the whole planet's suffering

you can't let this go unpunished.

If you punish the culprits,

there won't be any pain anymore

If you punish the culprits,

it will not happen again.

"Is this true?" I am now taking the opportunity to question this anger, to allow its energy to transform. I am provoking it intentionally, so Denise can get thinking, while still tapping. Observe how the mixed anger and powerlessness keep going back and forth, to eventually lead to another question.
"- Yes, I can see where you are heading to." is her answer.
"- My question is not about where I might want to get at, but to know what you are feeling right now? Our objective is to get you to feel peace. At this very minute, what are you feeling? 

Anger is now coming back. This is perfect, now we can work on it.

I need the culprits to be killed.

I need to see them with my own eyes. 

She reacts to this suggestion. "No, not necessarily, but I need to know that people's safety is taken care of."

I need that these bad people can't walk around in the subway with impunity
The army is doing this

Police forces are doing this

Counter-terrorism teams are doing that

but they are not doing their job

New reaction: "They do do their job insofar as they are allowed to do it."

and somebody is not letting them do their job

but I am going to go there

and the angrier I am the better!

It is now time to get back to the root of the issue:

the more anger I'm feeling

the more I'm suffering

the better
Is this really true??

Even though I'd like to be able to do something,

I wonder why my role is?

I my role to shout for revenge?

"Certainly not!" is her answer.

Can that bring me relief?

Is my role to tell the government what to do?

Probably ("after all, they are supposed to represent the people!")

Is my role to revive hostility?

Maybe

Will all this bring me relief?

Maybe

Even though I don't really  know what to do with all this,

I know this is about my suffering

I know this is about my suffering being triggered

while I thought I had sorted it out.

Even though I thought is was gone,

this suffering is so deep

it will never disappear

Today however, I have a choice.

I know this suffering

I tried to bury it.

Did it work?

She reacts to this question: "I thought it had worked". This might be a good time to ask yourselves that question: what are you trying to bury... or to unearth, at this very minute?

Today, maybe I have another choice.

Maybe I can let it all out to transform it.

the suffering from all these wounds. 

Once the anger is removed, the real suffering is beginning to flare again, and tears are coming back up.

They took my country away from me

they took my country away from me

they threw me out of it

there was all this blood and this terror

and I am still carrying it in me

Today, maybe I can honour all those who are suffering,

by clearing a little bit of my suffering

EFT usually is a gentle modality, and deep sobs don't really represent gentleness, but it is sometimes necessary to welcome these sobs to create the opportunity to get to the other side of them. After all this tapping, the final barrier collapses and Denise is eventually releasing her control of her feelings, accepting the tears, the freedom of them, while I'm keeping supporting her through tapping and voice. (All this is happening on Skype, by the way).

A little over one minute later, the crisis has already calmed down, and Denise comments:
“It actually feels good to let it out”.
this is a good time for re-testing, and I ask Denise to say again:

"They took my country away from me".

No tears. Anger and suffering are appearing to have cleared, we are left with powerlessness. We all have our ideals, our religion, our spirituality, our beliefs. Denise gets a lot of strength from her religious faith. What brings you strength? Adapt the next part to your own beliefs.

They took my country away from me, and I will never recover

They took my country away from me, I recreated my life away from my roots

They took my country away from me, and I will never forget it

Even though they took my country away from me, my faith tells me

that everything happens for a good reason

Even though this is a little hard to swallow

I am grateful that I am learning every single day

so many things my faith can teach me.

Denise's noticing one more time, surprised : "It really relieved me to burst out a little bit".

They took my country away from me,
Can you explain to me what good there is in this?

And the problem is, the people who threw me out of my country

not only did they take my country

but they made a mess of it.

I can't let this happen.

I shall keep on suffering

because I don't know any other way

I have no other possibility.

Even though I have all this suffering in me,

today I could choose.

Choose to clear all this suffering

and find peace within me.

This step could only happen after the rest was cleared, however it is a important step. At this stage, Denise is now exhausted. We are finishing the session tapping on the fingers only.

The emotional charge from the past is cleared, at least as far as we could access it, but after the session, Denise WILL be again at the core of a whorl of pain that has taken the country. She is now ready to face this future, and it is time to help her getting ready for it, with the past part of the session.

There are all this triggers around me,

"That's true", she remarks, thinking.

they will re-activate all this suffering

for me and for the whole world, and for all the people who experienced all this

I can hear all this suffering around me,

of course it's echoing in me

Today I wonder what I will choose.

Without EFT, it is quite difficult to conceive that such a choice might exist. Thanks to EFT, and thanks to Gary Craig, EFT founder, for giving it to the world.

I can choose to live through this suffering again and again,

or I can let it out and transform or through my faith.

You'd need a real strong faith to get there!

Maybe I'm not there yet.

You'd have to be God to get there!

Ridicule is no harm, and in this case, the absurdity of the idea is bringing laughter back in. When used at the proper time, laughter is a really good way to let go of unwanted feelings.

I will never be God. but I can do my best.

There are so many different advices around me.

There are so many different suffering around me

I wonder what I shall choose?

Do I want to feed all this suffering by adding my own?
Or do I want to take my suffering

and present it to God so He can help me transform it?

I already transformed a big part of it

Time for a check point: “Is that true?”. She answers “Absolutely"

I thought it was finished, but it is never finished.

I will not forget

and forgiveness is so hard

But I can learn

Even though I need to culprit to be tracked down

I also know there is another possible way to act. 

New verification: “Is that true?” - “Well yes, you can bring love and peace into the world”, however...

Even though I don't see how I can

bring peace and love in the world

when I face such a situation

I can learn

I know the counter terrorists squads are doing their job. Thank you.

I know the police forces are doing their job.Thank you.

I know the health teams are doing their job.Thank you.

and today I present my participation to world peace

with love and compassion

for the part of me which is still suffering

and for all those who are still suffering around me.

Today, I'm letting the anti-terrorist squads act in the present to decrease the risks for all of us,with gratitude,

and I am choosing to build peace on the long term,

by transforming all my pains and sufferings

so I can better help others to transform theirs.

I am choosing to protect myself from their pain,

so I am more able to help them to let go of them.

I am grateful I am safe.

Thank you 

 

Compassion literally means "suffering with", You might think then that to support someone you need to suffer with them. Denise has not chosen to add to the suffering. Instead she is choosing to add Light to help clear suffering.

Denise is now relieved but exhausted too. We are finishing with a discussion about our way of looking at others. I'd like to share this too.

“Others", are the people we meet on the street, in the bus, people whose eye we sometimes avoid, particularly in some cities. And true enough, sometimes, this is a safe way to behave, however this is not always the case.

I heard people say that these attacks would not happen if we were all aware and vigilant, if we did look at each other. The idea was to identify the risks and therefore prevent them, This is of course absolutely valid.

I would add another reason, perhaps a longer term one.

Someone told me about an interview of somebody who left a "normal life" to become potentially one of the attackers. They said that they were doing it because "before I was nobody". By changing to this other life, they became "someone".

What would have happened if that person had received the looks that would have told them they were "someone" without having to use violence?

What would happen if the people who committed these acts had received loving and caring looks from their childhood on?
What if the solution was available to each of us? Through our acts and looks?

Crisis situations always trigger amazing solidarity movements. What if the same feelings would nourish us every single day? 

I hope this article helped you one way or another, to find more peace in you, or to identify areas of suffering that you can explore on your way to personal peace. May this peace spread from you towards the world.

Thank you.