1: Remember that EFT is NOT a "miracle cure" and I am no medical doctor. EFT is there to help people deal with their emotions and energetic unbalances, and it so happens that in many cases, people who find emotional balance also find relief at other levels, including emotional and physical, whatever the disease. But people need to be "ready for it".

2. AVOID trying to convince them at all costs:
If people don't have to "believe in EFT" for EFT to help them, they do need to be open to the possibility of getting better, one day. So if you try hard to convince a loved one, they might want to please you, and "give it a go". But they might try it without putting their heart into it, and it might "not work".

Then they'll decide that this is all stupid, and well, this is just one more proof that they cannot be helped. It's a bit like the yoyo diets. Not only it doesn't work, it makes it worse. I know, I've been caught myself, a bit on the yoyo diets, but mainly on trying to "impose wellness by EFT" to loved-ones. I had just discovered EFT, and was keen on helping the world. I understood that I might not be the best person to help when I might be too close to the issue, so in one case I sent somebody to another practitioner. But they only went to humour me. And in the end... it just "did not work". I had similar situations with a couple of people who came to humour somebody, and did not get much benefit out of it.

Having said that, there is a very fine line between imposing on someone and supporting someone. You are the only one to know how hard you can safely put the pressure on them. Julia, after all, came to humour a friend, and was not exactly open to the idea of EFT. She still found relief (read her story here). And again, back to my own story, the friend who introduced me to EFT talked to me for 3 months about it. It seemed "too good to be true, and out there", so I kept ignoring her on that topic. One day she literally forced me to try. It didn't really work that day, I have to say, but it got me curious. The rest is history....

3. Clarify expectations:

Is their healing YOUR expectation or your loved one's? In most cases, we want the best for the ones we love, so WE are expecting THEY get better. But maybe they're not ready to get better yet. What if they need to go their own route? In that case, we all do whatever we feel like doing, and very rarely what we're told. So you can tell them as many times as you want that this or that would be good for them, they need to walk their path and make their decision.

As difficult as it might be to imagine, we migth have good reasons for staying ill or keeping doing something potentially harmful to ourselves. Smoking is the easiest example : somebody might say "I do want to stop", they might even have tried (and failed, so far) several times. But when you get into their deeper feelings, you find what we call "secondary gains", the "yes, but...", when they say "I want to stop smoking, yes but..."

"....Yes but I won't have an excuse to have breaks at work", "... yes but it gives me confidence when I'm in a social situation", "...yes but I'll put on weight", "yes but that smoke screen protects me", etc..
Once yout tap these away, it is a whole new world.

More often than not, these reasons are perfectly unconscious: people might believe that this is the only way they can get attention, one of the many beliefs I had myself during the many years I spent deep in "clinical depression". I since discovered it's much more fun to feel great!

Or they might believe that their disease just proves so and so that they are wrong, or because it's a good excuse not to do what they don't want to do, without hurting others by saying no, or simply because of the fear of change. Who would they be, what would they do without this dis-ease?

Try and consider their own point of view?

4. Identify your own feelings:

When they refuse to do what you want them to, including using EFT, how do you feel? Angry? Disappointed? Anxious? Sad? Fearful for what future will bring them... and you? Powerless? Frustrated? How do you deal with these feelings? Some might say you shouldn't take their refusal personnaly. I'd say you could. Actually, do take is so personaly that you'll be dealing with your own personal reaction first. And maybe, just maybe, I'm wondering... could EFT help YOU?

There could be a few potential benefits in you using EFT to deal with this.

* first of all, of course, you might feel better, and this is priceless, for you, and all those around you, including that person.

* Communication with that person might be much easier. How can you support them when you're angry or anxious? They'll feel it, might even feel guilty / annoyed / upset about making you feel that way. All in all, they might not find much solace in your well meaning. While if you feel more at peace with yourself and their own decisions, then the dialog takes another dimension.

* Lead by example : by using EFT yourself, you're demonstrating the results in a real life situation. And they could only notice it sooner or later. Then they might remark on it, and eventually decide they'd like some of that well being. And before you know it, you've really helped them see HOPE.

So in a nutshell, you might be able to help somebody else with EFT, but not necessarily the way you might have thought. I had a friend once who got involved in drugs. I kept lecturing that friend about it. Many years later, that person told me drugs was history and that I had helped a lot, and added : "it was not what you said, it was who you were".... Leading by example without even realising it... Probably one of the most precious compliments I ever received.

I hope this has helped you. Any other question, please contact me.

That's where persistence is key. Something just happened, we are on the right track!

Let's say you have a pain in your shoulder. You address it with EFT, and it disappears. But now, it appears again... in your neck! Well, your body is telling you something! Listen to it, and address the "pain in the neck"! It might then move to your lower back, your head, your arm, who knows... But like when you're peeling an onion, each time you solve one pain, you're getting closer to the core!

So keep chasing that pain, wherever it might decide to show up! Check up Louise's story for a practical example.

While it might look like a very simplistic and naïve method, we have to think about it in the context of EFT. We are in dialog with our subconscious, probably reviewing a reaction that was programmes in early childhood, as a response to a number of triggers, such as the behaviour of a person towards us. At that time, our subconsicous was not able to find easy solutions that appear to us logically right now. We are just opening new doors and offering our subconscious the choice of a new program.

The possibilities are as endless as your thoughts are...

If you want to know more, the best is to read this article from Dr. Patricia Carrington, creator of the EFT Choices Method.

Quite often, the person might be doing it on their own, after only one reading of the manual or one session with a practitioner. Then they might need a little bit more assistance or guidance in order to use EFT at its best to get the results they'd be looking for. And if they are experienced EFT-ers, they'll know that sometimes we just need someone else to show us the way out, and they'll request help from a fellow EFT-er or a practitioner.

If they are working with a practitioner already, maybe the exact issue is still to be uncovered? Maybe, the person is not ready to accept healing or resolution (and even that could be "tapped on"!)? Maybe it needs someone with a little bit more expertise to find out the key and unlock the problem? Persistence sometimes opens unexpected doors.

EFT has now gathered thousands of highly improbable successes, from cancer to PTSD including MS or getting people out of wheelchairs. And that's excluding all these everyday worries and bruises that you might have already solved by yourselves. Coincidences? Scientific research is on the way to support these successes with scientific evidences. Meanwhile, you can decide for yourself.

You can never be sure that all avenues have been explored. If you ask a practitioner about their success rate, they'll probably state something between 80% and 99%. Never 100%. So yes, I guess you could say it doesn't always work. 

But if you don't put all the chances on your side to try it out, how will you know if it could work for you?

EFT founder Gary Carig's motto is used all over the world: "try it on everything". What do you have to loose?

It allows you to assess where you are to start with, and then assess your progress in dealing with the issue at hand. 

It goes from 10, when the pain or distress is unbearable and out of control to 0, where you feel great, happy and pain-free. When dealing with children who might not be able to count, the alternative is to go from 10 - arms wide open, and progressively close to 0 - hands together in front of you. 

It's actually interesting to see how a "slight pain" might be rated by some people as a 5 and others as a 2!

Further Reading :
SUDS on Wiki
   
More on SUDS creator Joseph Wolpe